Last Litter Syndrome

Ain't he sweet? Look at those itty bitty hands. I wonder what kind of chip the aliens implanted and why didn't they choose the kitten named "Chip" for this procedure.

While first litter syndrome resulted in me adopting, the urge is on me again now that I'm facing last litter syndrome. I'm pretty sure this is the end of feline babies until the weather warms and I'm getting way attached to my last three. These kittens never purred the first week I had them, now they are so loving. They have such great little "hands" they are always kneading and it looks really cute because they are all wearing little white gloves. Captain sort of kneads the air and touches my face when I pick him up, it's very endearing. This is the kitten who started dying for no reason and I took him to the emergency clinic (to the tune of $350.00)His name was Cookie but he did that magic sex change like Lucy did and my son said the name "Cookie" was just too queer so we changed it.
I noticed that some stitches were poking out of him Tuesday while waiting for our time to go on camera. I knew he'd been shaved on his neck but this was the first time I'd seen or felt the stitches. I figured there must have been some life saving device plunged into his corotid artery or something but thought it strange that nobody mentioned bringing him back to get them removed. I guess they don't use the dissolving CAT GUT stitches any more. This will have to come out before he goes up for adoption. Bad enough he has the obvious shaving which will make people think twice about him...
So I called the office and asked about coming in and they put a vet on the phone. "There's no reason for that kitten to have stitches, there is nothing in his record to indicate that sutchers were ever used." "Dang, maybe it's just something stuck on him but it looks like stitches , er, um, sutchers to me."
I remember years ago getting a call from the veteinary office where I used to get my Dog, Cortez, groomed. I got that grave phone call saying "We've found a tumor, the doctor will need to speak with you when you pick up your dog." My heart as pouding on the drive over. When I got there, the tumor had turned out to be a piece of candy cane with a couple of Thomas the Tan Engine stickers that the fur had grown around. I hadn't noticed it before since it was near his dick and I always figured he could clean that part himself. I thought maybe I'd take Captain in and they'd say "Look, it's your dental floss mixed with jam" or something.
The vet said to bring Captain in so he could take a look. I took him into the place and Danielle Spencer was on duty. She's an old friend, you might remember her as "Dee" from the 1970s show "What's Happening". The kids from that show were guests on the Variety Hour so we got to know each other then. (Geri Reischl and Earnest Thomas are still friends and working on a project together) I saw her years later when she was just starting veterinary school. It's so cool that she is practicing near where I live. She's really nice and still looks like she's fourteen (She must have gotten Florence's secret map to the fountain of youth).
We hugged and went bla bla bla for a while and then the vet I had spoken to on the phone came out. He looks at Captain and says "Hey those ARE stitches. Why does he have stitches?" "Don't look at me, I have my sewing machine out but I haven't used it on the kitties, REALLY, I haven't." He removed the sutchers still shaking his head. I talked to him about Captain's little near death experience and he assured me that there is no indication that he will have any more blood sugar issues again. Basically, it was a fluke. (Lucky me). Maybe we can explain his shaved arm and neck as being some kitten fashion statement now that the stitches are out... but why were they there?
We arrived at the only LOGICAL conclusion: Captain must have been abducted by aliens.

I told Danielle that I'm really tempted to adopt Captain. I was hoping she'd say something smart and practical like.. "No, Susan don't." Instead she said "It's always good to have another cat, it's nice the way they interact with each other.""I already have four!"She just smiled a great big smile.I was tempted to do my best Shirley Hemphill impression and say, "Thank you, Dee." but I refrained.